Living as One Who Has Died
Colossians 3:5 (paraphrased) – Live as one who has died to every form of sexual sin and impurity… Lay aside your old self with its masquerade and disguise.
There is something very sobering about the phrase: “live as one who has died.”
Dying is not dramatic. It is quiet. It is decisive. It is final.
Paul does not say, “Manage your sin.”
He says, “Die to it.”
What Dying Looked Like for Me
There was a time in my life when impurity was not just physical—it was emotional. I lived in emotional dependency. I longed to be affirmed, chosen, validated. I attached quickly. I feared abandonment. And underneath it all was a hidden life.
When I was in Canada, my intern supervisor once said something that pierced me:
“When you’ve lived in addiction or emotional dependency, lying becomes a survival skill.”
That was true for me sometimes.
Not always blatant lies—but subtle ones:
Shading the truth.
Saying something not yet verified as if it were.
Leaving out details to protect my image.
Adjusting stories so I would not look weak.
Hiding my emotional attachments so no one would confront them.
It was part of the old self’s disguise. I was protecting an image.
Dying to Sexual Sin and Impurity
For me, dying did not just mean avoiding immoral acts. It meant:
Cutting off emotional fantasies when I began rehearsing imaginary scenarios.
Refusing to stalk social media to feed emotional longing.
Renouncing secret emotional attachments that felt “harmless” but were not surrendered.
Not entertaining flattering messages that stirred my ego.
Choosing accountability instead of secrecy.
Admitting attraction instead of pretending I was above it.
Setting boundaries when I sensed my heart attaching in unhealthy ways.
Dying felt like loss at first.
But it was actually freedom.
Dying to Lying
The Lord has been gently exposing another layer: truthfulness.
Sometimes I still catch myself:
Exaggerating to make a story more compelling.
Saying something confidently without fully checking facts.
Softening my mistake instead of fully owning it.
Explaining instead of apologizing.
The Holy Spirit now nudges me.
“Tell the truth.”
“Say you’re sorry.”
“Admit you were wrong.”
“Correct it.”
And I have learned to go back and say:
“What I said earlier wasn’t accurate.”
“I shaded the truth. I’m sorry.”
“I should not have said that.”
“I was wrong.”
Every time I do that, something dies.
But something stronger rises—integrity.
Other Ways Dying Shows Up
Dying to impurity also means:
Not feeding comparison with other women.
Not dressing or presenting myself for attention.
Refusing to replay old romantic memories.
Not using ministry success to substitute for intimacy.
Surrendering the need to be admired.
Letting go of the “rescuer” identity.
Allowing others to see my weakness without managing perception.
The old self loved control and image management.
The new self loves light.
The Masquerade Is Exhausting
Paul says, “Lay aside your old self with its masquerade and disguise.”
A masquerade is tiring.
Image protection is heavy.
Hiddenness fractures the soul.
But dying with Christ means:
I no longer have to perform.
I no longer have to pretend.
I no longer have to manage how I am seen.
I am already seen.
And loved.
Prayer
Lord Jesus,
Teach me to live as one who has died.
Expose every form of impurity in my heart—emotional, mental, relational.
Kill in me the need to hide, shade, exaggerate, or protect an image.
Make me a woman of truth.
Give me courage to apologize quickly.
Give me joy in integrity.
Let my private life match my public life.
Let my heart be clean before You.
Amen.
Reflection Questions:
- Dying to the Old Nature
What specific behaviors, thought patterns, or emotional attachments in my life still belong to the “old self”?
In what subtle ways do I keep something “alive” that God is asking me to put to death?
What would it practically look like this week to live as someone who has already died to that sin?
2. Sexual Purity & Emotional Integrity
Are there emotional connections, fantasies, or hidden attachments that I justify but have not surrendered?
Do I seek validation, attention, or affirmation in ways that compete with my identity in Christ?
Where do I need clearer boundaries?
3. Truthfulness & Image Management
When do I tend to shade the truth—fear, insecurity, wanting approval, avoiding consequences?
What image am I trying to protect?
Is there anyone I need to correct, apologize to, or clarify something with?
4. Living in the Light
Does my private life match my public ministry?
Where is the Holy Spirit gently convicting me—not to shame me—but to free me?
What step of obedience is God inviting me into right now?
5. Putting On the New Self (Col. 3:12–15)
How can I intentionally “put on” compassion, humility, patience, and love this week?
What would it look like to let the peace of Christ rule in my decisions?
BELOVED 
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