Let My Life Speak Part2

Reflection from Let Your Life Speak by Parker J. Palmer at Cherimoya Farm

DAY 2 – Chapter 2 Reflection

“Recall the things you feared in the past. What decisions did you make out of a lack of awareness? Where did this bring you? How did the grace of God bring you back on track to the journey designed for you?”

Looking back on my life, I recognize that many of my early decisions were shaped by fear rather than awareness or faith. Two recurring fears have significantly influenced my choices: the fear of lack and the fear of sudden attack. These fears stemmed from past traumatic experiences that left me anxious about my safety and uncertain about the future. Instead of discerning carefully and trusting in God’s guidance, I often acted out of self-protection and a desire for security.

One defining moment in my life was my decision regarding my career path. I originally desired to become a lawyer because I was deeply drawn to justice and advocacy. However, when my sister told me there were no successful women lawyers then, I allowed fear and discouragement to shape my decision. Lacking confidence and awareness of my true calling, I chose to pursue Optometry instead. Although I completed the course and have continued to practice once a week, I initially felt unfulfilled because I knew it was not the direction I truly wanted to take. This decision, made out of fear and conformity, led me to a long season of questioning my purpose. I often asked God why He allowed me to take this path. For years, I did not see how my profession could align with His greater plan for my life. However, over time, I began to realize that God’s grace has a way of redeeming every detour. Even through Optometry, He taught me to “see” in a deeper sense — to look beyond the physical and into the spiritual and emotional needs of people. My encounters with patients became quiet opportunities to listen, empathize, and reflect the compassion of Christ.

Furthermore, God has been gently healing the fears that once controlled me — such as my fear of heights and my fear of riding in a car due to past traumatic experiences. Through spiritual formation and healing, I have learned that God’s love and presence are greater than any fear. His perfect love casts out fear and restores peace in the places where I once felt vulnerable.

In hindsight, I can now see that even the decisions I made out of fear were not wasted. God, in His grace, used every experience to prepare me for the journey He designed. He patiently redirected my steps, deepened my awareness, and reminded me that my worth and purpose are found not in what I do, but in who I am in Him. His grace continues to lead me back to His intended path — one marked by healing, awareness, and trust in His perfect will.

DAY 3 – Chapter 3 Reflection

“Have you ever felt the Lord asking you to stand up for yourself?

You know you are God’s beloved and because of that you are to be treated with respect. God wants you to be freed from your shackles.”

Lately, I sense the Lord gently asking me to stand up for myself—not out of anger or pride, but out of a deep awareness of who I am in Him.

Recently, I’ve been corrected again—told not to explain, only to say, sorry. I welcome rebuke and correction because God sometimes speaks through people, but this time it triggered something deep in me, that same old feeling of being silenced and small. I know the person means well, but is there a better way to correct without crushing someone’s spirit? When the focus is always on what I failed to do and not on what I have faithfully carried, it’s disheartening. I don’t want my motivation to serve to come from fear of not measuring up and guilt.

Now, I’m at a crossroads. I feel tired and uncertain if I can keep enduring. Yet, I also sense God whispering, “Not yet.”

He seems to be saying that this season is one of refining, not rejecting. He is rebuilding boundaries in me, teaching me to serve from peace, not pressure; from calling, not compulsion.

My spiritual formation journey is helping me to quiet down, confess and repent, forgive, and remember that my worth is not measured by performance or pay, but by being His beloved daughter.

I heard Him say, “Stand firm, not because you are strong, but because I am in you.” Standing up for myself doesn’t mean fighting back in the world’s way; it means speaking the truth in love, setting healthy boundaries, and refusing to let shame or fear define me. I realize now that when I stay silent when I am not treated with grace, something inside me agrees with the lie that I am less than what God says I am. But when I choose to stand in truth, I honor His image in me. This is part of my healing journey—learning that freedom comes when I no longer let others’ treatment dictate my worth. God is freeing me from the shackles of people-pleasing, from the habit of shrinking myself to make others comfortable.

My takeaway: I am God’s beloved. My voice matters. Standing up for myself is not rebellion—it’s an act of worship. It’s saying “yes” to the truth that I am worthy of love, respect, and freedom in Christ.